Thursday, September 12, 2013

There are no new feelings

Last Monday  we played (netball) against a team who we had previously beaten.
 
This time they kicked our ass, they were the better team, however they played dirty and the men in the team were rough  - football field rough........................
 
Towards the end of the game the men on the team really paid out on me - my age, my ability to keep up with my opponent etc etc
 
Well shit, I just crashed and burned. I felt so bad, I was embarrassed and felt like I was dying on the inside. I was a mess and I'm OK telling you that I cried for about two hours (yes a little bit of indulgent self pity was called for).
 
After a while I realised what had happened. I'd had reopened old school yard wounds and I was feeling something I had not felt for a long time.
 
OMG I had forgotten just how bad it feels to be teased - seriously that word seems a bit limp dick considering how it makes you feel!
 
So there it is, there are no new feelings. These days I know to look back and connect - it will generally explain my reaction to something that has me reeling, but it's been a while since I have been hit with something that brought me to my knees.
 
I don't get it, I'm not sure what role I played, although I suspect my mouth may have factored into it (in some small way......).
 
I'm dreading (in advance) the next time we play them.

4 comments:

Caroline Overington said...

I was really happy to hear that you had read one of my books. Thank you for putting it on your blog!
Caroline Overington.

Clare Bizley said...

Assholes. Not you guys ;) those knobs who can't play fair.
Your mouth is one of the many great things about you, so I'm hopeful it did factor into your experience, because sometimes you're pretty funny. No really, you are.
In conclusion, you haven't read any of my books, but I'm not unhappy about that as I haven't written any, so no problem.

Kim said...

this post had me concerned and laughin all at once.

Kim Hunter said...

Your f*%ken mouth. How the heck could that have gotten you in trouble? Nah they seemed awfully immature.