It's Chris's 5year anniversary today and not a day goes by that I don't think about him.
I think about lots of things, I think about what I could have done differently and the only thing I can come up with is boundaries. I won't go into that, but I think that would have helped with our relationship.
There is a father at school who is raising his daughter and every time I see him (he has tattoos, is a bit rough around the edges, but his daughter is the centre of his universe), I see Chris - I see what Chris could have been if he'd gotten his shit together.
And as always I think about GIY (and other similar programs) and how, if I had of known about them, could I have gotten him there? Dad and I would have tried - I would never have given up trying!
It might not have worked for him, but it might have.
Of course none of that matters now, but it's something I always think about.
I love you Chris and hope you have found peace and happiness.