A few weeks ago I ran into a women I had worked with for about 4 years. This women made my life an absolute misery. She was horrible beyond description, had double standards and regularly lied to me and about me. Someone said to me the other day "it couldn't have been that bad, you were there for 4 years". What they didn't understand was that by the time I did leave (to Tennant Creek) I had absolutely no self-confidence and very little self-esteem, so had it not been for the move, who knows when I would have had courage to apply for another job!
YES people, I do acknowledge that "I allowed it to happen!" - Jeez can you imagine someone trying to do that to me NOW?
It had been 14 years since I'd laid eyes on her, and in that time I have had many conversations (in my head) with her - all of them very ugly!
But as I spoke to her I felt an overwhelming feeling that the tables had turned. I was no longer that 23 year old who allowed her to walk all over me. I know who I am and in which (exciting) direction my life is going!
This women was almost desperate in her efforts to convince me of just how happy she is! But nothing has changed in her world. Happy people don't need to do what she did to me and she is still that same person, I could feel that.
I walked away feeling amazed that she no longer made me feel like she used to, but a little part of me was saying I should have let her have it! But I know it's time to forgive her and that does not mean condoning her behaviour. It 's time I was free of the anger I feel towards her! And I know this to be true.............
FORGIVENESS IS A GIFT YOU GIVE TO YOURSELF!
Well that's where I'm at - I don't expect it will take too many conversations with myself in the mirror, she really isn't worth holding onto it any longer!